I like asking questions to keep learning. People with big egos might not want to look unsure. Heston Bluementhal
Note: If you haven’t read my previous post relating to this one, you might want to get the context here.
Like I said, children are naturally and effortlessly curious. By asking innumerable questions, they are only doing what’s natural to them, indeed to all of us.
Curiosity provides a certain momentum and the space of openness allows for more possibilities to show up and be acted upon.
And as I’ve also said in another post, we get *normalized* – shaped and molded into a preferred *type* or profile. And so we swap *natural* for *normal*, forgetting what is natural and assuming that normal is natural. It isn’t.
1. We check ourselves when we are being natural and switch to what we have learned is *normal*. Why?
Because we don’t want to appear strange or weird or naïve or stupid.
2.. We ask fewer questions. Why?
Because as you grow older, you should know more and therefore ask less.
3. We are intolerant of other people’s questions. Why?
Because we suspect that they are being ingenuous. Or we are afraid that they’re trying to trip us up. Or we are afraid that we might look stupid or that our answers won’t satisfy or that they will make us less popular or likeable.
4. We don’t give direct answers. Why?
Because things are not so clear-cut. Because we want to position our answer against the strongest justification possible. Or because we want to distract the questioner. Or because we’re too ashamed or afraid to say “I don’t know”.
5. We get on the defensive by asking an attacking question first. Why?
Because we want to secure the advantage. Because if I can weaken you by putting you on the defensive, I’ll feel stronger and I’ll have shifted the focus from me to you.
So, here are 5 Questions that are derived from the 5 statements above:
- How do I check myself when I’m being natural and how do I switch to normal?
- What are all the reasons why I ask fewer questions?
- Why am I intolerant of other people’s questions?
- What kind of answers do I tend to give when I don’t give direct answers?
- What kind of attacking questions do I ask?
And here are 5 more Questions that we can ask deriving from the 5 Questions above:
- How does it feel when I’m being *natural* and when I’m being *normal*?
- What are some of the questions that I have never dared ask myself or someone else?
- How do I show my intolerance of other people’s questions?
- How do I feel when other people won’t give me direct answers?
- What kind of attacking questions do I get asked?
I hope these questions take you through doorways that provide insight about your conditioned self, your learned beliefs and behaviours as they have done for me!
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