Imagine a little wave turning its back on the endless ocean saying:
“I’m not doing this anymore. I want to go do my own thing. I don’t want to be part of you. I will go off and be my own unique self.”
Well, the ocean continues to be and do what it has always been and done. Meanwhile, the little wave, although still part of the ocean, although still holding the entire essence of the ocean in its little self, feels the separation from the endless ocean without actually recognizing what it is feeling.
And because it’s feeling this separation (without recognizing it), it tries ever so hard to be something, something special, something different, something unique, something that it already is but is not aware of. So It struggles and the more it struggles, the more powerless and desperate it feels. And the more exhausted it gets, cut off from the very source of its life although in truth, it has never been cut off.
Whereas before, it could rely on the ocean to carry it powerfully across all weathers and seasons, now it feels as if it must struggle alone and it must compete since what our little wave has discovered is that it isn’t the only little wave that has thought itself out of connection with the ocean.
On the contrary, it finds itself in the company of millions of other waves who have also thought their way out of the endless ocean. Who have also thought that as part of the endless ocean, they are not unique enough, not free enough, not special enough, not grand enough. And like it, all these other waves are also struggling, also feeling cut off, alone, separated and insecure and feeling a need to fight for their survival by competing.
“So much for uniqueness”, the little wave thinks to itself ruefully.
But the ocean has no wish to make this little wave or any of the other waves exactly the same. Indeed, the ocean exists as infinite possibilities, infinite waves, each one unique, each one equally a part of it and each one equally em-powered by it. Each wave has within it, all the properties and qualities of the ocean, its power, its capabilities, its wholeness, its ‘ocean-ness’.
The little wave watches the other waves and sees that they are desperately reaching out to each other for comfort, security and companionship. But no matter how many bonds are formed between them and no matter what comfort and consolation they derive from these, they still feel a hollowness, a restlessness, a yearning for something more or different. And for the first time ever, they feel fear. Fear about many things, but especially of death.
Death is something they have never experienced before but here they are, not only witnessing death among themselves but also fearing it so greatly. This fear is terrifying especially since they have become so attached to one another, so dependent on each other for security and companionship.
A distant memory stirs in the little wave. Life had never been like this before, when it felt connected with the endless ocean. In fact, back then, it had never felt fear. Yet now, fear seems to be an almost constant state, interrupted only by brief distractions offering superficial satisfaction and false security.
“Why did I think life would be better on my own?”, the little wave asks itself sadly.
“You acted on a thought”, the little wave hears a quiet voice say, “and you can act on a different thought now if you wish”.
The little wave thought about this a great deal. In fact, it spent most of its life considering it since its feelings about it would fluctuate depending on what was happening to it and around it and among the other waves around it. Each time it thought about returning to the ocean, it would feel good and hopeful. But there would invariably be something that would persuade it that life as it was, was okay and sometimes even great, following which something else would happen that would make it yearn to be reconnected with the ocean. And so it kept going.
One day, as it was in deep contemplation, it experienced something quite remarkable. It felt itself getting lighter and lighter while expanding and dissolving into what felt like…the endless ocean. It was the most wonderful feeling. Every hurt, disappointment, regret, fear, unhappiness, isolation, insecurity, craving and dissatisfaction it had ever felt simply vanished and it felt like they were gone for good. In their place was the most amazing sense of peace and joy and freedom, indescribable freedom, something the little wave had not felt in a very, very long time. It felt as if it had died and gone to heaven, except that it was better than any kind of heaven it had ever imagined. A thousand times better. No, a million times better. Actually, it was beyond anything he’d ever felt.
The little wave allowed itself to remain in this state for a long time. When it finally came out of this state, it had a realization:
“That was the ocean! I was back in the ocean! I was back home. I was me again, the real me!”.
And then it had a further realization:
“I have never been separated from the ocean. None of us have. We’ve just thought that we were. And the more we thought it, the more we believed it and the more we felt it. And the more we felt it, the more we believed it. But it’s a lie. An illusion. We are part of the ocean and have always been! I just need to remember that. I just need to allow myself to feel it again. And again. And again…”
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