For many of us, fearful thoughts, thoughts of unworthiness, doubt and disease, morbid as this may seem, also provide a measure of entertainment, a certain amount of morbid thrill. Neurologically, such thoughts raise our brainwave frequencies from a general low-mid level beta range to high level beta where our attention can narrow down to just these thoughts. Having been normalized to such shifts, they act to reassure us that we are still ‘alive’ and this insane thinking further leads us to believe on some level that such thoughts keep us alive. Crazy, isn’t it?
True Love does not know anything but good
But such thinking and normalized behaviour is only possible as long as our attention is directed away from Love, our true nature. Sadly, for most of us, our attention has been directed away from Love for such a long time, to the extent that Love has become a stranger to us, something that we don’t feel entirely comfortable with, something that can even overwhelm us. It is as if we are coming out of a dark cave in which we have wandered for a very long time. The light that hits our eyes makes us squint and shield them. It is too bright for the moment and we need time to adjust to it. But once we do, we wonder how we survived for so long in the darkness. We might even realize that we had become ‘comfortable’ in the darkness, much to our detriment, for in darkness, growth is mostly stunted and distorted. For whilst it is true that time in darkness can be restful and renewing, unfortunately, for most of us, our time in darkness is spent wallowing in dark thoughts and feelings, perpetuating them. And it is spent shielding us from the Light of Love which we have maladapted from.
And yet, the inner Light of Love was something that we felt so comfortable and at home with as an infant. It is why we did not wish to open our physical eyes very much. There was nothing to be gained from what the outer world had to offer, that is, not until we became so conditioned by and to it. From then on, we slowly began to forget the inner Light and began to rely almost entirely on the outer light. But the inner Light never left us. It is in fact what keeps us alive, it IS life. Love IS Life. It is what pervades everything that exists and yet is none of those things as the Tao de Ching tells us and as Vedanta tells us and as the Gospels tell us.
On the day you see the light of your own true Self, you’ll rejoice! But if you only see forms which from the beginning were in you, and don’t die to them or know them, how can you stand the light?
From the Gospel of St Thomas
When we feel overwhelmed by Love, we tend to be distrusting of it. The conditioned mind quickly makes up stories about how this is all too good to be true, that this experience is just a fluke, that it will not last, that true Love is a myth. It will also remind you of some beliefs that you might have of being unworthy, undeserving or incapable of loving. And whilst it is true that people’s behaviour – the actions of their conditioned beliefs, thinking and feeling – can hurt and betray our conditioned mind, true Love, the Love that is the very force of the Universe, the Love whose Light continues to shine somewhere within you, does not know anything but good.
This is the Love that we want to turn our attention to. This is the Light that we want to sit in and reacquaint ourselves with. This is the energy we want to infuse our thoughts and feelings with and guide our actions.
I’m sure you’ve lived long enough and experienced enough to know that nothing else gives us the true and lasting happiness and fulfillment that we so deeply and enduringly seek. I’m sure you’ve also known, in some deep and essential place, that it is only this Love that enables you to love another truly.
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