Some of us have had incredibly painful experiences whether of our own doing or as a result of someone else’s. Our memory of these experiences can be equally painful. In fact, it is always our memory which is mentally, emotionally and physically locked in our mind-body that triggers the pain response.
Yet, painful as these memories may be, we are reluctant to let them go. Our Ego, our Conditioned or Fear-based mind has convinced us that we cannot afford to forget since it is our remembering that helps us build and fortify our walls of defence around ourselves. This mind convinces us that without these walls of defence which take the form of anger, unforgiving, aloofness, judgment, doubt, distrust, suspicion, resentment and other negative emotions and disempowering beliefs, we will very probably fall victim yet again to our own folly or the unloving actions of another.
To some degree, and for some period of our lives, it seems like these walls of defence actually work. They keep us on guard and minimize the risk of hurt. What we don’t realize is that while these walls stand, they also imprison us, preventing us from expressing the fullness and the goodness of our true nature. They prevent us from being fully alive!
Surrounded by a wall of anger, I am unable to express love and unable to receive it. And so I die slowly.
Surrounded by a wall of unforgiving, I am unable to be at peace with myself or with another. And so I die slowly.
Surrounded by a wall of doubt, I am unable to open to the opportunities that are always present. And so I die slowly.
Surrounded by a wall of distrust, I am unable to reach into the love of another and allow another to reach into the love within me. And so I die slowly.
Surrounded by a wall of resentment, I am unable to experience the joy of something wonderful that is happening right here and now. And so I die slowly.
If I believe that I cannot be happy, why waste my breath wanting to be happy?
Now, some people may find this hard to believe, but some of us really don’t want to be happy. Why? Because we’ve resigned ourselves to the belief that we cannot be happy and if we cannot be happy, why waste our breath wanting to be happy? That’s right, some people have given up on being happy.
Have you?
If you haven’t, read on.
If you want to be happy but find it hard because you’ve had an awful past or some awful experiences in the past, consider this:
Is your past really in the past or do you keep dragging it into the present and as a result, into your future?
Are you reliving your past by allowing its walls of defence to imprison you?
Are you willing to keep your past where it belongs – in the past?
Are you willing to consider the possibility that this moment, right here and now (and I do mean ‘right here and now’ as you are reading this), is a brand new moment with brand new possibilities?
Are you willing to stop telling the stories from your past and start painting (imagining) new stories for the future and telling them as you go?
You see, after a point, we really do need to stop telling our stories from the past. Why? Because they hold us there!
To some degree, we use the past as a justification (rather than merely an explanation) for how we are now.
Can you imagine not telling your stories from the past and instead telling something new, something that actually excites and inspires you? They don’t have to have happened, they just need to be something that gets you excited and inspired.
Little children do this so effortlessly because they don’t have the crippling burden of the past to weigh them down and hold them back. And, as Jesus so insightfully said, “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”
The kingdom of heaven, as he tells us in another place, is within us. It is who and what we naturally and truly are – the state of bliss.
People don’t want to forget the past because they want others to know how deeply they’ve been hurt. They want people to note that they have not been as fortunate as others. To some degree, they use the past as a justification (rather than merely an explanation) for how they are now.
Let me be clear. I don’t wish to undermine in any way the suffering that people have experienced. That would be foolish. Nor do I wish to callously tell them to ‘get over it’. Rather, I want to lovingly suggest that they consider deeply and honestly if and in what way they wish to let their past dictate their present and their future. Because, you see, it’s only when we choose to leave the past in the past that we can be truly alive to the present and create the future we truly desire. In the process, we will find the resources within us to relate peacefully and powerfully to our past rather than fearfully, hostilely and powerlessly.
As with everything else, you can do it IF you want it enough!
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