Can we have peace without forgiveness?
How does this question affect you? Does the answer seem obvious to you? Or does it throw you into some internal conflict?
Is there some part of you that believes that there are some things or people that must never be forgiven?
That to forgive such things or people might mean putting yourself and perhaps others at risk?
That it might mean that you have acceded to the willfull lovelessness of another or are in fact condoning it?
That it might make you look and feel weak and powerless?
I don’t want to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. But let me tell you what I have learned. Before I do, let me share two quotes with you, truths which are consistent with what I have learned:
Jesus, when on the cross, so the story goes, said this of the two convicted criminals who were crucified on either side of him:
Father, forgive them for they know not what they do
And this quote, often attributed to Nelson Mandela but also to others:
Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die
So, what have I learned?
That peace, deep, liberating, nourishing, life-giving peace, eludes me when I hold on to my resentment, my judgement, my closing the door of acceptance to another.
In short, when I hold on to my grievance against another, no matter how ‘justified’, I rob myself of peace, my natural, great, boundless, unconditional peace.
That much I have learned and it has made all the difference.
Does it mean that I no longer judge? Condemn? Feel resentment? Anger? Disgust? Indignation?
No, not at all. I feel them all right and plenty more. But I know how destructive they are and I know, through the practice of Mindfulness and the experience of my unconditioned nature, how to bring myself again and again to my natural great peace so that Life/Love can once more flow freely.
You see, I have made the decision that I will not have anything but a peaceful relationship with another. It’s non-negotiable.
Does this mean that it always expresses itself in a physically observable form through actions that I might take in relation to an other?
No, not necessarily. You see, I have learned to follow my intuition. Sometimes that results in observable action. Sometimes, it results in no observable action. But ALWAYS, it involves Intending, Imagining and Allowing a peaceful mindset, body, attitude, approach.
I have drunk the poison of resentment and unforgiving often and for long periods of my life and it hasn’t done me or anyone else any good.
So yes, I can say that, for me, there cannot be peace without forgiveness.
I invite you to join us in a space where you can mindfully contemplate this very important question.
During this time, I shall share why Jesus was able to say what he said, not because he was better than any of us but because he understood and saw who he and those men and all of us truly are, beneath the facade of our human, conditioned, fearful, self.
REFLECTION
What does grievance towards someone feel like for you? Where do you feel it in your body?
CALL TO ACTION
Write a letter of reconciliation to the world that you were born into amd to the world as it is now noting whether you’re asking or offering forgiveness or doing both.
HEALING STATEMENT
In the end, there is no one and no thing to blame, just to acknowledge, understand and do my part to make it better.
Join Lucy’s 6 Day Walk in the Garden of Frogiveness mentoring program.
MENTORING
Let Life express itself intoxicatingly, uniquely, powerfully and limitlessly in, as and through you. Don’t settle, whatever your age. Know your true Self. Follow your Bliss. Live the Life that you know you want to! Contact me here.
MINDFULNESS ONLINE
Join me every week to sit in the presence of your true Self and experience the greatness of Life flowing naturally, effortlessly and powerfully in, as and through you!