Having sight with no vision

The only thing worse than being blind is having sight with no vision

Helen Keller

Some time ago, I was working with someone who had come to me for mentoring. This young man was troubled by his father’s insistence that he see a psychiatrist or a psychologist.

‘I don’t feel I need to see anyone just now but my father keeps telling me how worried and anxious he is about me. He’s always on my case’.

Hmmm...I thought…seems like the father needs to see someone. 

As far as I could tell, this young man was quite clear about what his needs were. He had been able to coherently share some of his concerns and he had been taking steps to work through some painful issues. I could also tell that his father’s worry and anxiety was undermining this young man’s confidence, something he was assiduously trying to rebuild following a series of poor choices he’d made some years ago. It was truly inspiring to watch his slow, painful yet determined progress.

I also felt that his father loved his son dearly but didn’t seem to realize how his love could be overridden by fear, something that happens when we are not paying attention (being present) and are therefore reacting from habit i.e. conditioning.

‘Are you worried and anxious about yourself? I asked the young man.

‘No, at least not in the way my dad is. I want to get on with my life. I know I’ve made mistakes and I know that I find some things really difficult. But, I am finding ways to move on. I don’t have all the answers but I need to give myself a chance’. 

‘Many chances, I hope’, I said, ‘as many as you need’.

‘Yes’, he nodded, slowly and thoughtfully.

‘Would it be possible to talk to your dad when you are really calm and he is too and just explain that you are doing your best and that this kind of thing takes time? And that while you are truly grateful for all his love and support, what you really want from your dad right now is faith in your ability? Not fear? Do you think that might be a useful thing for you to do?’

He seemed relieved at this suggestion. He could see that it would give both him and his dad a more useful outcome to aim for – their peace, their faith, their confidence. And it was not going to involve confrontation!

What we often call a ‘problem’ is in fact a situation. The situation is what appears to us but it is not necessarily the problem. The true problem is actually the ’cause’ and every ’cause’ produces an ‘effect’. This ‘effect’ is the situation that appears to us.

So, in this anecdote that I’ve shared, what would you say is the cause or the true problem? And what is the effect or situation? And do you see how it is possible to wrongly identify and define the problem/cause?

In order to correctly identify a problem, i.e. the cause of a situation, we need to have a mind that is uncluttered, free from our judgments, biases, fears and other afflictive emotions. In short, free from our conditioning). Without this kind of clear mind, we aren’t able to identify and define the problem (cause) accurately, understand its effects (situation), envision a desired outcome and take inspired action.

A solution is not the end result. A solution is the marriage of vision and action that takes us from a problem to a desired outcome

Now, the outcome is NOT the solution. Rather, the solution is when vision or ideal meets inspired action. And that meeting and marriage is not always a single event. Often, it is a journey which requires attention (rather than time), several mindful actions (or repeated actions) and a steady focus on the desired outcome or result.

Now, how do we get a mind that is clear and ready to envision the desired outcome and intuit the necessary actions? Clearly, it is a mind that is allowed to be mindful, to be open, free and attentive.

And what do we do in such a state of mindfulness? We

1. Look at the situation, we define the problem (often beginning with how we are feeling and reacting)
2. Imagine the desired outcome, bathing our bodymind with the goodness and joy of the imagined desired outcome
3. Ask for guidance on what actions to take.
4. Take those actions while keeping our focus on the desired outcome

These steps are what I call the solution – the meeting and marriage of Ideal/vision and action and the journey that this takes us on culminating in the end result or desired outcome.

I’d like to finish by building on Helen Keller’s quote in this way:

Action without vision is walking in the dark. And vision without inspired action is wasted.

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