each of us has our unique path to follow
Image from Ipoenk graphic
We are all seeking something more or something ‘else’ in our lives, whether it is more freedom, more peace, more job satisfaction, better health, better relationships or a more inspiring sense of purpose.
‘We each have our own unique path to travel’ has become a bit of a mantra for me. That’s because it helps me in 2 ways:
- It inspires me to look within and draw on that immeasurable abundance of resources (qualities) within me
- It checks my tendency to compare myself with others and feel eclipsed by their success or greatness
The desire to be like some great spiritual master or some great entrepreneur or some great artist or some great humanitarian or even to be like a more ‘successful’ sibling or parent or former school mate or colleague can be pressing and persistent.
Most of us feel it first as young adolescents causing us to make some larger-than-life personality our idol or role model.
Then, as young adults, often after we have established our career path and are beginning to ponder on the long term direction of our lives, we might once again feel the surge of this desire.
And later, perhaps after the years of raising children and securing our financial security, we might once again feel the strong desire to do something more or something else with our lives.
Of course, for some of us, that desire, that urge may have always been there, just never given much room or voice.
But if we are going to listen to this voice and respond to its calling, especially as we compare ourselves with others, how might we do this?
Keeping in mind that we each have our own unique path to travel as we follow our desires, dreams and goals is useful. Not only does it help us reach into the limitless resources within us, it also helps us recognize that our path is as unique and necessary as every other person’s.
This is so important because many of us often feel eclipsed by the achievements of others causing us to shrink into some unworthy and irrelevant concept of self.
We give up on what we truly desire accepting that we can never reach the level of success that others in a similar field have reached. After all, the world only recognizes and celebrates a few. What is my presence and what I do worth?
Image by Engin_Akyurt
Yet, if we understand that every being is by nature already whole and complete, we will see that each one of us is equally relevant and necessary. No one and no thing is dispensable.
Now, we may not necessarily see how each dot in the matrix of life interconnects and interrelates with the others, but that should not be reason for not honoring the presence and universal purpose of each one.
Each one of us is necessary. No one and no thing is dispensable, accidental or irrelevant
Each one of us is necessary. And if we understand that, then we might also appreciate why each of us must follow our own unique Life path and express Life in our own unique way.
So here are 5 things to keep in mind as we attempt to do this:
Appreciate the impact of your circumstances, your history and your unique path thus far
To be INSPIRED by others, to feel that wonderful arousal of excitement, of joy, of meaningfulness, of the encounter with truth as embodied/expressed by someone, is a truly wonderful thing. I would encourage all of us to remain actively open and receptive to such inspiration.
However, modelling our lives on someone else’s is misguided.
Why?
Because, often when we seek to do this, we discount or undermine the unique-ness of ourselves and our circumstances, which in a time-space bound paradigm is relevant. Instead, we seek to mimic their journey, their practices, their lifestyles, their thoughts and their ideas.
Of course we don’t believe we are doing this but when we find ourselves feeling frustrated, feeling defeated, feeling like we’re not making ‘progress’, it is not because there is something wrong with us. Rather, it is because we have failed to honour OUR unique-ness.
It’s because we are so caught up trying to live someone else’s unique life, to achieve the status or admiration or influence or spiritual prowess they appear to command. And it’s also because we are so busy comparing ourselves with another and finding ourselves less or not enough.
Be inspired by others not overwhelmed or enslaved by their story
For as long as we focus on that inspiring personality, we’re NOT being present to ourselves, to the LOVE and WISDOM and POSSIBILITY within us that is waiting to be expressed UNIQUELY through and as us.
The world needs only one Mandela. It needs only one Mother Teresa. It needs only one John Hagelin. It needs only one Bill Gates. And god knows, it needs only one Donald Trump :). Each was or is a unique expression of one of the infinite possibilities of the universe, of life.
Similarly, it needs only one Lucy Lopez and only one YOU. Yes, we are each a unique expression of one of the infinite possibilities of the universe, of life. Let’s make it our purpose to BE IT! That’s what YOUR LIFE seeks from you.
Image by Bessi
If you’re going to compare yourself with anyone, compare yourself with your past self
YOU are not a clone of someone else that you’re seeking to be so that when you dedicate your life to living/being YOU, you are far less likely to get frustrated, defeated or feel like you have not progressed.
If anything, you will marvel at the ‘progress’ you have made thus far and continue to make every day, every moment, sometimes by just showing up!
You’ll find that you are far more likely to get excited, thrilled, fascinated and empowered by the YOU that you are discovering and the UNIQUE WAYS in which this YOU is seeking to express itself in its unique circumstances – that YOU which sits underneath your personality, which is totally free from (HIS)STORY and LEARNED SCRIPTS. That YOU which is an authentic, free and full expression of the Divine, of God, of Infinite Intelligence.
What others who inspire you can offer you is the tickling, the arousal, of those QUALITIES that YOU are naturally seeking to express, that are already within you. Qualities such as freedom, kindness, creativity, joy, peace, clarity and so on.
Focus on the qualities you value and admire in another rather than their achievements or their unique path
Focus on these qualities NOT the way in which a person’s life is configured, the things they do, the people they influence or their achievements or the path they’ve taken. All of these are unique to them. If you tune in to the YOU within, it will guide you to your own unique configuration and path. Trust that and honor it!
Another thing that others can offer you, both those whom you admire as well as those whom you may not is an idea of lessons learned.
Learn from their mistakes and failings without needing to make them yourself
Like a mother can teach her child that placing its hand on a hot stove is going to hurt by just placing its hand close to the stove, so can someone else teach you or at least suggest to you that certain things or ways may not support your journey or support the fulfillment of your dreams and goals.
So, for instance, gambling (to take an extreme example) is something that you needn’t do yourself in order to see that it’s not going to support your goals and dreams.. You can if you wish to of course, but it isn’t necessary.
When people start embracing the mantra, ‘Be your unique self, follow your unique path’, they assume that they must attempt everything for themselves. In other words, they dismiss the value of collective wisdom and that can be a waste.
Now, the reason I mention this is because when people start embracing the mantra, ‘Be your unique self, follow your unique path’, they assume that they must attempt everything for themselves. In other words, they dismiss the value of collective wisdom and that can be a waste.
It is true that much of what we call ‘collective/conventional wisdom’ is fear-based and fear-driven. But the information it offers can be used in a loving and empowering way.
Image by Taryn Elliot
For instance, if I have seen or heard or read how gambling caused someone (and others associated with them) a great deal of pain, I can take that information and use it in a loving way.
In other words, rather than be motivated by the fear of pain, of negative repercussions, I might allow myself to imagine how loving it would be to spend my time and my money in other ways.
My point here is, we can learn from the experiences that others have learned (or not learned) from without having to go through them ourselves.
We do not need to put our hands on a hot stove to learn about pain in the name of ‘following our unique path’. We don’t need to go to war and kill someone in order to have a deep sense of how unloving that is. Neither do we have to retreat into isolation for decades to be enlightened.
The fact that most of us mindlessly and even willfully subject ourselves to extreme experiences in the name of ‘following our unique path’ does NOT make such experiences compulsory.
Sure, some of us do learn from such personal experiences and hopefully we learn how to be more loving, more free and more powerful. Yet, it is also true that often we learn how to be more fearful, more inhibited and less powerful. Clearly, this is not an authentic expression of YOU.
Neither the Buddha nor the Dalai Lama for that matter, underwent the experiences of childhood trauma or addiction or disease. And in the case of the Dalai Lama, he has never experienced married life. But none of this has prevented them from understanding what it means to be loving, authentic and (mostly) free from conditioned existence.
They have both been able to tap into their ‘Buddha nature’ (which we all possess) and allow its natural, loving and free expression in their own unique way and in their own unique circumstances..
In summary,
1. Dedicate yourself to being the UNIQUE you as an expression of the UNIVERSAL YOU that you naturally are instead of trying to live someone else’s life. Tune in to YOU and be guided by its nature and INTELLIGENCE.
2. Don’t feel obliged to learn the lessons that others have learned in the way they have learned them. Whenever possible, extract the core information and seek to find the truthful basis of it within yourself. Then, seek to allow that truth to express itself in, as and through you in a way that is UNIQUELY YOU.
REFLECTION
What do you most appreciate about yourself? Take your time to feel the answer to this question. You may have an answer that you’ve given many times before when you’ve been asked the question. Today, just take the time to really get still and allow the answer to arise from deep within you. The answer may surprise you. When I just did this exercise, the answer that came up so instantly and with such a lovely vibe to it was: Being alive!
CALL TO ACTION
Take the answer you received above and explore how you might best live and express this in ways that open (wider) the taps of joy, excitement, delight, curiosity, wonderment… within you. Do one of these today.
HEALING STATEMENT
Greatness and goodness, not as measured by the world, but as expressed by Love, is my natural and only set point.
MINDFULNESS ONLINE Join me every week to sit in the presence of your true Self and experience the greatness of Life flowing naturally, effortlessly and powerfully in, as and through you!