Let’s say you have a habit, perhaps even an addiction, of checking your phone/email/social media for messages, updates and activity every 5 minutes or so. It’s something that you’re more likely to do when you’re not doing anything else like writing a report or driving or cooking dinner or designing a book cover or sleeping. You may not be aware of the frequency with which you do it but let’s say for the purpose of this exercise that you do it every 5 minutes.
Needless to say, this applies to ANY habit/addiction, so please consider one that applies to you.
Now, just as an experiment, what if, instead of doing what you would normally do in relation to your habit/addiction, you decide NOW – and I mean RIGHT NOW AS YOU ARE READING THIS – that the next time you find yourself reaching to check that phone or email (or indulge in whatever habit/addictive behavior you have), you will STOP, take 5 deep, gentle and slow – very, very slow – breaths and then, take another 5 deep, gentle and very, very slow breaths?
Go ahead, make that decision now before continuing to read. I’ll wait 🙂
Okay, so RIGHT NOW, just REHEARSE that scene in your mind.
See yourself picking up your phone or going to your email box (or cigarette or drink…) and about to click ‘Send/Receive’ or your Account name or whatever it is that your particular mail client requires for you to check your mail.
See yourself pausing instead and just sitting (or standing or walking) and taking your 5 deep, gentle and slow breaths and another 5 deep, gentle and slow breaths. You could even breathe along 🙂
Go ahead, REHEARSE THE SCENE NOW. I’ll wait 🙂
OK, so you’re REHEARSING this scenario in your mind. Excellent! Rehearse it a few more times. In fact, rehearse it as many times as you can.
What you are doing is LITERALLY CREATING NEW NEUROLOGICAL PATHWAYS in your brain and in your body for the SAME trigger that would have otherwise set you off on your habit/addictive behavior.
Rehearsing is a proven technique used by high achievers including athletes, actors and public speakers – people who are serious about correcting unhelpful behaviors or habits or wishing to overcome them altogether. It is also used to cultivate a completely new habit or behavior, as for instance, when you wish to learn a new skill such as a new guitar riff.
The power of Rehearsing lies in the fact that as you mentally go through the motions of the DESIRED behavior/response, you are ACTUALLY activating a whole swag of associative neurochemical responses including emotional, visual, and kinesthetic responses EVEN THOUGH YOU MAY NOT BE PHYSICALLY performing the desired action.
This is powerful stuff and made possible by the fact that your brain does not distinguish between physical action/movement and imagined action/movement. (Think about it, this is how people can have wet dreams or butterflies in their stomach or break out in a sweat just thinking about something terrifying. It’s like watching an erotic or scary movie except that the movie is playing on the screen of your mind).
Now, you can always substitute the 5+5 deep, slow and gentle breaths for something else such as journaling or working on a jigsaw puzzle or cooking or anything else that you effortlessly and guiltlessly enjoy. But I’m suggesting (and recommending) deep breaths because
1. They are easy, cost-free and always available no matter where you are and require no additional equipment other than yourself 🙂
2. They are a gentle and non-threatening way of slowly getting into the habit of Breath-Awarness/Self-Awareness/Meditation
As you continue to REHEARSE the desired behavior in your mind, your mind-body becomes more and more predisposed to the desired behavior. Not only do you get the benefits of the desired behavior – feelings of wellbeing, calm, confidence in yourself, reduction of stress in your body – every time you rehearse, you also get the benefits when you physically perform the behavior.
Most people who have attempted to ‘cure’ or break an addiction or unhelpful habit find it a struggle for 2 main reasons:
1. They try to physically change the behavior without any mental-emotional rehearsals of a preferred behavior
2. They don’t have a preferred, effortless, guilt-free, emotionally fulfilling alternative behavior to take their mind and body to in place of the unhelpful habit/addictive behavior
In fact, without an emotionally fulfilling and effortless alternative behavior, your chances are dim indeed.
So, if you are serious about breaking an unhelpful habit or addictive behavior, make sure you do these 2 things:
1. Find an emotionally fulfilling, effortless alternative behavior
2. Rehearse the scenario where you use the alternative behavior in response to the usual trigger/s
As a final note, Rehearsing is a technique that you ALREADY use. In fact, it is how you acquired your current unhelpful or addictive habit, except that now, it has become so automatic that you don’t have to ‘manually’ (i.e. consciously) rehearse it. It’s got it’s own ‘pre-set button’, so to speak :).
Rehearsing is simply using your imagination in a very deliberate and repetitive way.
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