I’ve been trying for so long

 

I’ve been trying for so long

So very long

I felt sure that this was my calling

I can’t think of anything I’d rather be doing

 

But look at me

I’m still here

Still where I began all those years ago

 

Meanwhile

Others who began a couple of years ago, two months ago, two weeks ago

They’ve shot forward in leaps and bounds

 

Maybe I’m not meant to be doing this

Maybe I’ve just talked myself into believing that this is what I am meant to be doing

Maybe I just led myself down the garden path

Maybe…

 

Some days, not often admittedly, but some days

I wake up and wonder what I need to tell myself in order to stave off that despondency that went to bed with me

Some days, I wonder why I still find myself feeling like this from time to time

Shouldn’t I be well and truly past all that?

Some days, I wonder if I’ll die happy as I was once certain I would

Or would I die wondering why I hadn’t reached the level of success that others had and that I thought I surely could?

 

If you were on an island all by yourself

What would you wonder about?

 

I guess I’d be wondering if there were other people like me on islands all by themselves wondering if there were others like them…

Or maybe I wouldn’t even think that far

I’d just wonder if there were other creatures like me

Or maybe it would never occur to me to think that

Maybe I’d be so preoccupied with looking after myself, I’d have little time for anything else

Except maybe watching the wildlife around me

Maybe enjoying their company

Maybe I’d just see myself as part of everything

 

You are part of everything

Just as everything is part of you

Everyone’s achievement is your achievement

Your journey is theirs

You’re all the same river

 

Identify with the river

It’s rich, it’s flowing

Every bit of the river, every bit of debris, every ripple, every millimetre of distance covered, every bubble is as essential as every other

As are you

 

Don’t let your acquired learning, individual and collective, tell you how and what you should be, how and what you should do

Only those who see themselves as separate and independent find meaning in such distortions

And that includes many learned people, well respected and admired

 

Your soul has only one purpose

To flow in the river of love

Not to make a name for itself in the world of illusions

Not to – mother of abominations – earn your living in the world of illusions

Don’t be a slave to such perversions

 

Love

Love is what you are

Love is how you are

Love is why you are

 

So

Be Love

That’s all you need to concern yourself with

And the surest way to be Love in the world of illusions

Is to do what you Love

Do nothing else

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