Reaching a point where I was unbearably unhappy
Realizing that my unhappiness was having an undesirable effect on others
Realizing that I had a choice – that my life could be different
Seeing other people having a much better time than I was
Realizing that it was my thinking, my beliefs, my attitude, my judgments and my expectations that was causing my unhappiness
Experiencing the difference between introspection framed by self-judgment and self-criticism and compassionate self-observation of my mind which I did and continue to do through meditation
Recognizing that my mind is the epicenter of my reality. It is the causal agent of all my experiences/effects
Realizing the critical role of FEELINGS in the creation of my reality
Consistently and adequately observing my mind through formal sitting (I started with 2 hours, then 4 hours a day and after about 3 years, dropped back to 1 hour, then ½ hour and now between 20-30 minutes a day). Also maintaining an inner vigilance throughout the day
Always checking my MOTIVATION for doing or wanting to do or have anything and finding a loving motivation
Choosing again and again not to do or desire things out of fear
Taking time to gently and lovingly examine my beliefs and decide whether to keep them or replace them
Realizing that ‘good’, ‘bad’, ‘right’, ‘wrong’ and ‘mistakes’ are judgments made by the ego/conditioned mind
No longer identifying with the ego/conditioned mind which I now see as a consciousness of habit or conditioning, a state of unawareness or unenlightenment
Understanding the true meaning of love and its unconditionality
Realizing that there is no greater presence or being/god that is judging me and deciding whether to give or withhold from me what I desire or exercising preference for or against me
Realizing how fear drives so much of my thinking and behavior
Realizing that I am not responsible for the way other people feel because that is their choice and likewise, no one is responsible for the way I feel
Realizing that it is my thinking, my judging mind that is the cause of my suffering not the people and things in my life
Changing my language/vocabulary to reflect what is true rather than what I have been conditioned to believe is true eg I can’t to this or that is now, ‘I haven’t been able to do this or that yet but I could if I wanted to’ or ‘I deserve…’ to ‘I am beyond deserving as I naturally am all that is great and good’
Learning to see things in terms of whether they were useful or not wrt a goal or outcome I have chosen rather than seeing them in terms of ‘good’ and ‘bad’
Learning to keep checking on the usefulness or otherwise of a particular path or course that I am steering
Learning how to leave the ‘how’ of getting something to Infinite Intelligence and being open and receptive to its intuitive prompts
Realizing that anything is possible
Realizing that in an infinite universe, all possibilities are manifest-able
Realizing that the natural flow of the universe is creative, powerful, peaceful, joyous and effortless – something that I call Love
Realizing that when I offer no resistance to this flow, this energy, life is effortless and wondrous in its manifestation of what I want
Realizing that when I feel bad, it’s because I’m resisting the natural flow of life/love/Universal Energy
Realizing that it’s never about whether I can or can’t do something but about whether I want to or not
Understanding what FAITH really is
Really, really, really getting that anything that I want must first be created in my mind with Intention, Imagination, Focus/Attention and Good Feelings
Seeing the evidence of putting my realizations into practice
Some of the things that I have achieved as a result of this:
Immeasurably greater happiness and wellbeing – physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually
Immeasurably greater sense of self-worth and true confidence
Much deeper and freer love for myself and others
An amazing sense of power and possibility
Much more enjoyable and unconditional relationships with other people
Willingness and courage to go for what I want
Ability to really know what I really want and what I don’t want
Ability to live with far less judgment about myself, others, the world
Being way less concerned about what others think about me
Being way more accepting of people and things
Being so much more optimistic and confident about exploring unfamiliar possibilities and going for them if I feel good about them
Being more confident about expressing my preferences to others and not being afraid of the consequences
Being less and less fearful and far more capable of handling my fear as a habit rather than a threat
Appreciating the value of ‘discipline’ and seeing it as something that liberates you from being a slave to your thoughts and feelings
Recognizing my neediness and not being a slave to it anymore
Doing what I love doing as an expression of the joy, the love, the wonderfulness that I feel rather than because of what I hope to gain from it
Freedom from ‘settling for less’ and the boldness and joy of being in a state of readiness for what I truly want
Freedom to change my mind about anything!
If I can, you can too!
Lucy
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