Photo by Karim MANJRA on Unsplash
I’m not going to pretend that forgiveness is an easy thing to do. For some of us, it can be one of the most difficult things we’ll ever do. By all accounts, it seems like when we forgive, whether ourselves or others, it brings us tremendous relief. It allows the rivers of peace to flow in and through us again. It allows joy to percolate into our daily experience more frequently and spontaneously and it gives us a much more trusting and endearing relationship with the world. I have personally not heard anyone ever regret forgiving, have you?
The following are remarkable stories of forgiveness that have happened in our lifetime. I hope you will be encouraged by them. And I hope it will inspire you to take action toward allowing greater peace and joy in your life!
The first remarkable story
“Mr. Ridgway, there are people here who hate you, I’m not one of them. I forgive you for what you have done. You’ve made it difficult to live up to what I believe, and what God says to do, and that is to forgive. And he doesn’t say to forgive certain people, he says to forgive all. So you are forgiven, sir.”
By his own account, Gary Leon Ridgway had murdered at least sixty women, many of whom were teenagers. He’d committed these murders in Washington State during the 80’s and 90’s. His murders would make him the second most prolific serial killer in the United States.
Some of his victims’ bodies were not discovered for many years. One teenage victim’s body, however, was found months after she’d been killed. Linda Jane Rule’s father, Robert Rule, was later to say that unlike the families of many other victims, he felt fortunate that his daughter’s body was discovered within months. What is captured in quotation above is also what he said at Ridgway’s trial.
The second remarkable story
Police men and women know that their lives are at risk in their line of work. Their partners and families know this too but that doesn’t make it easier for them or their families to deal with the aftermath of grave injuries.
Steven McDonald was a young police officer back in 1986. While patrolling New York’s Central Park, he was shot by 15 year old Shavod Jones, one of three teenage boys that he and his supervisor stopped to question on suspicion of stealing bicycles.
Steven was paralyzed by the shot and became reliant on a respirator. He had not been married a year and his wife was advised to set him up in a home. They were expecting their first child. Neither Steven nor his wife warmed to the option of a home. Instead, he was taken back to their house and the family stuck together.
During this time, Steven attempted to maintain contact with Shavod while Shavod served out his time in prison. Their correspondence revolved around how they might work toward promoting forgiveness and non-violence, something they thought they might do together upon Shavod’s release. But this collaboration never came to pass as Shavod was killed in a motorcycle accident just three days after his release. Steven, on the other hand, has gone on speaking circuits promoting forgiveness and non-violence.
The third remarkable story
What would you do if your mother was shot several times right beside you? For no apparent reason? Out there on the street? By a complete stranger?
Madellin, Colombia, 2001. Dider was 11 when his mother, a street vendor, was shot in broad daylight right beside him. 38 bullets had been fired at her. The event plunged Dider into a path of self-destruction involving substance abuse and crime. As he got older, he vowed he would find his mother’s killer and exact revenge. He prepared for this occasion by acquiring guns and even grenades. He had been told by people who knew his family who the killer was. He went to bed every night planning his revenge but plan as he might, he simply could not find the courage to execute his plan.
One day, a friend invited him to a church gathering. He was skeptical and reluctant to go but went along in the end. The experience at church then and many times thereafter was transformational. It unlocked a part of him that has been securely barricaded for self-protection. Over time, he came to realize that the hatred and unforgiving that had been fomenting in him was really destroying him. It was then that he happened to come across the man he knew to be his mother’s killer. He happend to be sitting on a street curb. Dider approached the man, sat next to him and asked him why he’d killed his mother.The man wept, an act that convinced Dider that he was the killer.
Not long after, Dider came across the man again. This time he told him that he had forgiven him. The man wept again. A strange thing for, as Dider would discover years later, he wasn’t the killer! Rather, it was Dider’s friend’s brother that had killed his mother. Dider’s response was to ask for help finding this man because he believed he could help him by personally offering his forgiveness. He was no longer carrying the painful burden of revenge and unforgiving.
By the age of 24, Dider had began helping troubled young people and was on his way to earning a degree as a social worker.
REFLECTION
How did you feel as you read the stories? Did they trigger any memories for you?
CALL TO ACTION
Is there anything you feel called to do? Write a letter to someone, to yourself? Call someone? Do it.
HEALING STATEMENT
I give myself permission to feel all that I feel and to heal all that I am ready to heal. And I give myself permission to be willing and ready to heal all that I know wants to be healed within me.
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